A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his student might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Good Lord, are you still in there?!"
HOW WELL DOES COLD WATER CLEAN?
A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a secluded, rural
area of the state. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared
breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film-like
substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather....are these
His grandfather replied.... those plates are as clean as cold water
can get them so go on and finish your meal.
That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for
lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of this plate, and a substance
that looked like dried egg yolks...so he asked again......are you sure these
plates are clean?
Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says.....I told
you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now
don't ask me about it anymore!
Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby
town. As he was leaving, Grandfather's dog started to growl and would
not let him pass.... Grandfather, your dog won't let me out.
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was
watching, Grandfather shouted, COLDWATER, GET OUT OF THE WAY!!
A customs officer at the Mexican border noticed a man coming across one day on a bicycle with two small sacks tied to the handlebars. He naturally got suspicious and asked him to open the sacks, but when he did he found nothing but sand.
This went on every day for the nest month. Each time he'd stop the bicycle and open the sacks, and he'd find only sand.
A few years later, he ran into the biker in a restaurant in Tijuana. After some small talk he said, "Come on . I know you were smuggling something all that time. I won't tell. I'm just curious. What was it?"
The other man said, "Bicycles."
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